Friday, May 21, 2010

Erndow's Favorite "Dick Up" Lines

There are many things a young woman learns when first moving to NYC... Such as how to use public transportation- do your own laundry and balance work and play. BUT no one has prepared us for this everyday battle of dealing with men.
Now I don't really think you would enjoy another book (OR BLOG) about how to deal with men- nor do we need another one. Instead we decided that THEY deserve a book. "Don't be a Fucking Idiot" is one of the many steps that men and any other Fucking Idiot needs to take to get on the right track.

I'm sure any man can attest to the fact that women normally look straight ahead and walk by while you're hooting and hollering. I'm also sure you wouldn't know what the hell to do if we turned around and said "Ok hottie let's fuck! Right now!"
Magsta (I call her 'MM') and I certainly have some pick up lines to stay clear of. (This is what we're really thinking when you say the things you say...)

You Say: "Damn..... I could sew a sweater out of all that pussy!"
(UGH. Sorry. I think I just threw up in my mouth.)

You Say: "Damn....that's why girls get raped!"

(Should I call the cops or just run?)

You say: "God bless you beautiful!"

(I am definately going to HEAVEN for all the times I was blessed this week!)

You say:
"Excuse me you dropped something (while pointing to the ground) heart."

Keep in mind this is coming from the Subway eat fresh man while I was running to work and actually thought I dropped something. (FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!)

You Say: "Did you fart? Because you blew me away"

Do I really have to say anything about this one?

You Say: "I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access."

(Well, Here's Time Warner's number Jackass. DSL is so 2004)

You say: "If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!"


Would you want anyone saying that to your daughter or friend who just moved to a big city?
If so.........YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!


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